Like life… but real?!

I was sat with some friends a few weeks back, and as social sittings go, we are laughing and chatting on different matters… and then the following was told..

a young gentleman was talking about how he had set up his kitchen with a little “herb garden”. he was excited about the basil and rosemary he was growing, now able to throw in some fresh herbs into his cooking… etc. lovely right.
until he said

“it’s like farmville, but real” !!!!!

And an alarm goes off for Fati!!
since when did the reference turn around for us. in the minds of this generation, is what we experience virtually our primary understanding of ‘life’. and when life resembles the virtual experience, it’s a secondary existence?

so when we socialise face to face, it’s like Facebook but real, and when we witness a musical performance, it’s like youtube but real… ouch and the mother of all ouches.

this life is no longer about the actual experiences we have, but the extent of what we can get online. (which is close to everything nowadays)

Us folk, in between the late 20’s and 30’s are the last who have experienced REAL LIFE, and VIRTUAL LIFE and the gradual migration from one to the other. We remember what it was like in our youth to play outside, hopscotch, jumping rope, swinging bars, getting scratches and cuts… etc. but now. now we enjoy online farming, online shopping, online breathing!

i’m no exception to this. although on a cruise, i payed the fee to stay connected via wifi for the whole duration here. because god forbid i cannot get onto my emails or share a blog… right?! (silly girl!!!)

in this process, we have forgotten what experience really is. it is a fully integrated connection of all senses directed at and equally subject to the environment we are in. is this now a luxury i wonder?

farmville but real!!!! baaaaah!!!!

forgetting that in the “real farmville”, you can actually touch, smell, and taste your herbs. forgetting that you have given actual life to a seed, that the leaves have in fact fed your body, and nourished even your soul.

so what will happen to the younger generations?

I do not exaggerate when i say, i worry. i worry that we lose our human-ness the deeper we step into the virtual world. that we will forget the sound of laughter bubbling deep in the stomach, and feel the energies and light of it tickle our own stomaches, to make us laugh along..

i fear that our mirror neurones will take after avatars and our faces will become stiff, with only 3 types of smiles instead of a million. i fear that we will forget the feeling of empathy, and the magic of a human touch.

Live long and prosper
Fati out

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on light in the human anatomy

Just had my third double espresso, and feeling rather wired and intrigued.. intrigued by what? i don’t know… soon i’m gonna go writing about something here and i don’t know what it is just yet, but i wonder if the caffeine will send electric energy into a part of my brain that would otherwise be asleep.

I read an interesting note the other day (it is one of those very obvious things which we would don’t ‘see’ so obviously until pointed to us)

we do not see light, we cannot physically see it, but we know its presence only when illuminates things in its way. the same goes of course for darkness.
this concept sheds ‘light’ on so much as it is revealed to me. and i wish i would have thought of what i would say about it first, before coming here so unprepared. (but that’s ok fati, just write away, and something will tell itself without needing your art of directing)

i know that us humans are made up of the same things, the components which make body, organs, the science of the heart as it beats blood to keep us alive, the magic of the mind as it perceives and translates… , etc etc.

but there is something that science forgets to mention. it is the light and dark components which are also part of our anatomy. we too, like the universe we exist in, are made up of light and darkness. and this can be seen only when we touch others with it. this is what makes each man and woman different, it is the shades of light in them, and it is the direction which it spreads, and how it illuminates or oppresses the persons and things which it touches.
children for example have so much light in them, it is a blessing we cannot see light directly or we would be blinded by its brilliance.
and some persons have so much light within them, that even when placed in and beaten down by dark matter, they still manage to shine and spread happiness to whomever they encounter. (there are the opposites of course but why bother)

i myself, know that i have both within me. both strong and both with a potent power, sometimes i am even afraid of it. but i recognise this, and that is all that matters. to know that our light waves are strong, to know that they can travel far, and with immeasurable speed too. (you know that the speed of light is differed depending what it is traveling through- but this is an adjacent concept and no time to dive in now).

then there are people who choose to close their eyes, to not see light, or only perceive darkness. do you think they are afraid of the light, afraid of happiness and laughter? scared that their own darkness would be overcome by the light of others, preferring “reality” as they call it. “because reality is dark and harsh, and this is life”

no! life is both. i hear concepts like god made light and the devil made darkness. not true, not true, not true. God made it all. light and darkness. rainfalls that nourish the earth, and storms that obliterate life. we need both, and we are both. and since that is true (this is my blog and i choose the truths), then God has made them both. because we cannot appreciate light, without the presence of darkness.

As we recognise that our intestines work to digest food and spread nourishment to our organs, then we must also recognise the light and dark in us with the job of spreading happiness or despair around us. this body exists in an ecosystem of nature and community, and if we take this as a whole and as ourselves a part of it, then we recognise our responsibility to SEE the light within us, and to let it radiate with no reserve.

warmth cannot be seen, but it can be felt. love cannot be heard, but it can still save us, hate cannot be touched, but it can still hurt.

let us recognise our anatomy in its whole, and let the light within us lead our way and make our choices.

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a reminder that i am human

In the last “month” or so, i have been quite the globe trotter. Normandy in June, and August is seeing for me Turkey, Spain, some ports in Europe (cruise) and then UK. as such i have promised myself that until end of year i am going no where…(that’s 4 months to stay put in Bahrain)

anyway, onto a point that is neither here nor there, but a point nonetheless.. haha..
so since i had been in Turkey and now in Spain, in a span of 5 days, i have seen 5 airports and been in 6 flights (counting transits and connecting flights). the result?
swollen feet and face. and when i say swollen, i mean easily 2-3 times their ‘natural’ size.
this is laughable of course, because i have troll feet now, and it does look scary!
what does this mean?

it means we are human, and as strong as we are, is just as weak as we can be. my body is telling me it is tired, and that it has a tolerance for time and life changes. in this same week i have experienced deep pain for the goodbyes i had been advertising lately, and sheer happiness for friends i have met in the process of all this.
i have cried incessantly, laughed wildly, and smiled until my jaw locked- my heart has been dry and then drenched, my soul soaring and then falling. so much to take in so little time.
i have exhausted (with no regrets) heart, mind, body and soul.
and so back to that damned point..

i wouldn’t change any of it. again, it means we are human. if i am not to live exhaustively, then i care not to live at all. and i love the reminders of being human (like sore feet and bloated face), it means i can feel, it means i will die, it means i am living, mindfully wilfully, intentionally.

so many people go through life without living a day, they breath in and out, they work, they meet people, they do and do and do… but they don’t ‘be’, they spend time thinking of the moments about to come, or regretting those that have passed because they passed passively. but they forget that the moment, when our body- heart- soul – mind can together feel and experience the same thing in it’s given moment, then this experience, and only then, becomes whole and wholly.
do not distract yourself from pain, do not deny your swollen feet, listen to your body even as you push it to its max. be human, all together strong and weak.

off to see Barcelona now…
Hasta Luego!

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The Energy of Change

I have been of a narrow mind lately, focusing on the woes of saying goodbye to Pesus and J, when in fact it is not goodbye, but merely a “see you on the other side, call me when you’ve settled” kinda thing.…
and then i have let that aside, and looked at another, wider frame.

In the past two years or so, near to everyone i know has been undergoing a drastic life change. Major decisions to change lifestyle, form, reason, direction and the like.

this starts with the friends getting married (6 of my closest among others) I know the obvious argument is “well you’re at that age where people around you start getting married”. you’re right, and I won’t over analyse this.
But marriage does change the person, thus affecting our friendship, and directly or indirectly aspects of my own life, even if it is a life only inside my head.. (this is why i keep referring to it as ‘goodbye’. i am simply bidding farewell the form of our current friendship, and not the person themselves, right… )

now other than marriage, myself included, so many people i know have taken major career and life shifts. I went from Marketing to Engineering, my sister Banking to Engineering, a friend of mine from Banker to Fitness Trainer (3 actually), friends leaving their jobs (not because they found a better one but because they decided to not be unhappy anymore), and some opening up their own business, people moving and changing homes and countries (many of those), long term relationships ending, the forever single finding someone….
Truly every where i look there is change, and of the notable kind.

so…in consideration of this and when we stretch that view and look at the world, the Arab Spring, the Snowstorms in Spring, the tsunami’s, all major major events around the globe with a tag line “first in centuries”,…

…i feel a sudden sense of alert, like my emotional and spiritual antennas are picking up vibrations “first” of their kind for me. there is something happening in the world, and it is no coincidence. The movement of energy across the universe (like that butterfly effect) is potent with the power of change, pushing and pulling all elements in it’s way. it has truly toppled over the life of many i know… both in a positive and negative direction. Be wary, this energy is only for change, and not necessarily purposeful or with motive other than ‘to make what is to be different than what was’…

so if you had been dreaming of something else, and if you had been hoping a ‘new’ will come to turn your world upside down, all you need is to stand in the current of this energy and be.

But do hold on to your senses, do keep reminding yourself of the reasons we are here to begin with, and keep sight of what matters to you most: for me it is poetry, to be able to dive into my world of imagination, and to let my curiosity roam as it likes into adventure and unknowns…

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born for the Swiss-Scapes…

what about me…? … working on maintaining the stability i had so successfully established some month or so ago. but even as i say this, i know it is a silly notion. life is not about maintenance or sustainability – i talk now not of consumption of course, but of existence… to “review” my self as i existed in the moments of now… nothing about it is meant to attain and maintain a status quo. it is about what makes this “now” unique to every other “now”.. in Normandy while i walked, lived and smiled in silence a thought came about it in comparison to the swiss landscape, which remains until today my most romantic setting. i fall in love in Switzerland every minute i am there. every passing notion in my head is passing in poetry, in song in colour. i am nothing but an artist when i am there. truly, the world to me is seen as poetry as rhyme and soul. i cannot stop writing while there…, wrapped in poetry i would be, even overwhelmingly, that i would sometimes give up the pen and paper and just glide and float the streets as they pick up my step imagery by metaphor… but in Normandy, as beautiful as it is, as alive as i felt, it wasn’t the same. i am not complaining, or saying it wasn’t a good trip. no no, it was perfectly needed and i wouldn’t have it any other way. i’m just comparing and taking a clear note that it is not travel which inspires me, it is specifically the SwissScape, as the greens and the Lake of Luzern dearly greet me with my name and history, and promise me that i have been born here before… on that note, sharing a poem i had written in Luzern some years ago….

xxxxx

 

Neverland

 

 

Morning’s early mist silently escaped the forest

As not to wake the world.

But I am up

Listening to its hushed hymn

And sweet songs of goodbye

 

Morning’s mist blanketed even the mountains,

A solid promise 

To conceal all the secrets whispered

When it was just us two

 

While the sun rises, 

my mist sinks back slowly,

bashful into the forest, and deep in the mountains.

It is time for this world to wake-

This very moment here

the grass is greener

And the bees are even busier–

Intently aware of my departure

 

And so, and again, love is made in my soul, 

one last time

As I prepare to spend my last day

In Neverland.  

 

 

 

Fati s 

June 2006

 

 

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revisiting impending goodbyes…

in one month’s time i will be bidding farewell to two of my dearest friends. in fact i would even call them equally my soul mates, for the only two people who have the magic to draw out the poet in me with no fail. for the two loves whom as a poet I fall in love with over and over, and find them the landscape to which i can breath i can be…

this post is for Julian and Pesus.

my thoughts, like my heart move from your smile to his lips, from his song to your eyes. in you my poet revive, through you i am alive. but i stand just a breath apart from your goodbye, and as my tears are held in, my love for you struggling within, i know that our parting is even destined for our journey together.

i’m no victim, after all, of forever- but can i not dare to want your heart poured into my cup of life, you the elixirs of dreams fantasy magic, you my poetry my emotions the reasons for my beating heart. can i not say i love you over and over until i die, and cannot i ask that you stay at the same time that you leave somehow.

i shy not and shame not from my tears, and even i celebrate the pain of parting, for it is far more beautiful than the swiss mountains, and deeper than the Normand-side sea, it is greener than the oldest forrest, and even much stronger than me.

to the end of the universe i would follow your voice, and i could hold my breath until i hear you call my name. a million times over i love you, a million times over i take you into my veins-

time and time again history is recorded, and repeated, and man, time and time again will never learn his lesson- but in every cycle for man and earth, you Julian and you Pesus are meant to be loved by me.

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Silence in Etretat- continued

i love irony and the things that weren’t meant to be, but just fit. 

for example my last post, i had shared something, which wordpress again decided to discard and keep only the title. but how fitting was it for the title.. very! 

i had originally decided i was going to go scouting the Normandy area while i was here.  but decided i don’t have time to be a tourist. haha! instead i will be only a writer.  walking down the streets, exploring the brick stone houses, the little gardens, pathways leading upwards and downwards, i am going nowhere except to the moment of ‘now’.  yesterday i stumbled upon a writer’s house- the mansion of Maurice Leblanc, and took in a tour, the beauty is that i was also the only one taking a tour at this hour, and truly got to enjoy the details of the place, his papers, his books and belongings. i even dared grab a book from a shelf and breathed in the scent of the pages (quickly before anyone would come in and tell me i’m not allowed to touch anything- haha)

I imagined myself, like him, like many of the writers we admire, sat at a study enchanted by the garden outside, creating imagining falling in love with my characters, discovering my metaphors, wrapped in inspiration, perhaps even desperation of a writers block.  

the life of a writer is one i aspire to, and am working and leading my path to get there, eventually get to that horizon, that mountain top where i can be for the sake of the written word, for poetry and stories, for moments heartfelt, for adventures of questions finding more questions… a writer a philosopher i am and always have been, even if my life story said otherwise… 

in these days spent, these moments of silence, passing by conversations i do not understand and relish in not understanding, i am not discovering myself, or taking in some drastic revelations on life.  instead i am only just calm, thinking of nothing, my mind in serene quiet.  

alas, my craving for silence is in the state of satisfaction… 

below a couple of pictures taken of Leblanc’s garden

Image

Image

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