my second attempt

So far i think i’m doing ok.  i’ve figured out a few items for blog customisation. (but still i know there’s more i need to discover). i’ve also managed to find some pieces of my writing already typed up on my laptop to share.  i got a few likes, i found some lovely writers and thinkers to follow and i’m enjoying the process altogether. mildly.  

i’m not one for technology, or computers, or the online world.  i’m scared of them, like they’re here to restrain and hold me back, more than the common perception that they help extend yourself to the world.  i’ve had a many blog posts in my head, and as long as they’re in my head i’m doing great, saying lots, and naturally with wit.  

but just as it be, i am here now, trying to be.  and its not happening.  my words run dry, and i have nothing of substance to say.  

the voice says “why would anyone want to know you’re on holiday, or how you feel about the Toronto weather”.  so what am i supposed to be talking about here?

          > anything Fati, this is an open space (they say), and you can be yourself as you usually are….

but there is no usual about me.  I am serious when needed, and supersonic silly when i feel it. my thoughts have always been for myself and putting it out there means acknowledgment of the “other” in a whole new context.  I wonder what Sartre would have said about this online scape, and how he would have put the “other” in context here.  he probably would have referred it back to some desire for sex and control ….  > hey! no tangents. 

 

So lets try anyway… pffff…

Yes I am on a 5 week holiday.  and i have 4 days left before i fly home to Bahrain.  it doesn’t feel like a holiday, specially not the last 3 weeks in Toronto, ON.  i’ve been getting up, doing dishes, cleaning the apartment, planning the day, working on my book, catching up with friends, grocery shopping, and of course either loving or fretting the weather.  it dropped a week ago ALL OF A SUDDEN.  i hate it.  it was a lovely harsh reminder why i can’t live here.  (i actually almost contemplated coming back to Canada for a few years earlier in my trip).  

the best part of it was the States where i stayed with a cousin in NJ, and did some visits to DC and NYC.  in NJ i woke up to chirping birds and slept to busy crickets and winding down gardens…

(i’ll be posting some photos up soon.  i suppose its the appropriate thing to do for the online culture…)

but / OOPS almost late for my lunch date.  i’ll be back.. and hopefully with something better to say. grrr. 

 

About fatimasque

living for artimaginationcuriousity
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