Change seems to be the theme of late. And also i think awakening. An awakening of all the voices inside my head. It is time to recognise all the sides of me which have been until now refused. like the voice that feels lonely, like the questioning of my decisions and choices, like the one begging for God and Faith.
has the fear been subsided. no. of course not. and do my tears no longer have a reason- absolutely not. my tears have all the reasons and for good reason. but this defeat i have announced i decided is also a triumph. a triumph of the heart, of emotions, of the verb “to feel”.
Fati, for now throw reason, logic, and the ‘should be’ out that door; and go looking for the windows witnessing the rising sun- the eternal promise of beginnings. you are allowed to fear, your skin to feel cold, your hope to be less. For if I am now colour blind, it means only that i know of colours; and if I miss the rainbow, it means only that I am bound to look for it, to find it.
A heart broken is still a heart, and the bleeding only makes me more human. we are meant to be reminded of our weaknesses- we are meant to fall, fail, to falter. (as we are meant to rise)
So stand I will at that window, and wait for the sun to call my name.