on Depression- day 20 in peace with Defeat

not much to say, days are going as they do.  my morning routine consists of forcing myself out of bed, and then forcing myself with everything subsequent to that. haha. 

its ok really, as i had been explaining to my friend over lunch- i’m reaching a stage where i understand what it is i’m going through, and that puts me at ease. its ok to be sad, down, etc.

anyhow, a topic to be put out there tonight is one of relationships and love.  i’m no expert on them, and my experience is next to none for ‘lucky in love’.  i’m always the single one on the dinner table, “happily” even- and my friends in relationships will ironically come to me for advice and insight on how to handle the this and that; and i’m always relieved that i don’t have go through the same. and then annoyingly i get the ‘how come you’re single, you’re so amazing, blah blah blah’  over and over again, every bloody where.  the answer is usually anywhere between ‘well i love being single’ to ‘haven’t met anyone man enough’ (i’m the typical over achieving accomplished strong hard ass woman- really so much i’m bored of it- and its not really the full truth)

do i want to be in a relationship?  there’s no real answer for that, i feel differently about it every now and then.  whenever i imagine my life ahead, it’s never had a man in it. I have my house, my books, my passions, students, friends. adventures.  everything. but no man.  i don’t actually know why.  

yet now, in this state especially, i feel incredibly lonely. and i wish, i wish i had someone. 

so anyhow, on that sentiment, i’m sharing one my poems i wrote last night as inspired by this odd desire to not be alone… 




good night dear readers.  

if you have someone you love, remember to tell them how beautiful they are every time you see it, every time you feel it, and especially when they need it. 

About fatimasque

living for artimaginationcuriousity
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2 Responses to on Depression- day 20 in peace with Defeat

  1. wonderful , very nice … liked the ending 🙂

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