on Rebirth- Day 25 in peace with Defeat

so the boredom with depression is well passed, and i’ve had a 3 solid days of “better”.  i believe i’m seeing clearer, and the cloud on my days ahead is mostly shifted.  I think as soon as i realised this concept of emotional suicide, for the sake of Rebirth, and not an end for itself, i was able to truly let go.

when i did, i found that the fall was not so long after all, and the bottom-less pit i had craved to be sucked into, is a vortex of my own fears; and where’s there’s fear- there must also be courage- i am taking both in and out all together, and now here i am.. in what i believe is the next cycle of this phase- going underground.  

but underground is not only a dark place, it is also peaceful, quiet, and contemplative.  it’s a place where questions can be asked without distraction, and answers will be sought with no hesitation. 

Am i pretending the depression is all together over?  i’m not sure, but i don’t think so, not in full.  but i know where i am, i’m starting to remember who i am, and generally…i just feel like i know. 

 

so here’s to knowing, to the underground, and looking upwards to rebirth… (can i come back as an elephant?)

About fatimasque

living for artimaginationcuriousity
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2 Responses to on Rebirth- Day 25 in peace with Defeat

  1. ohcgd108 says:

    this is a huge realization.

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