on Rebirth: Day 2 (the basics: senses)

The basics are without a doubt a non-futile discussion.  for example, the senses… 

I acknowledge for today my senses as the only thing which define me, by defining to me the world around me (even within).  Where i stand is measured by what i receive when i perceive.  my sense of smell, for example, i know is to me most venerable to all other sensations.  not just in its heightened ability to catch a hint of lavender, or the passing of a lie, but mostly in how the all of me reacts to that lavender, or that lie.  my being opens up, or closes down, shudders, shivers, leaps, shies, even angers by the stimuli of the scent.  I have in the past disregarded a person for their choice of perfume (i know, but really i would). I have been persuaded to follow for the scent of skin, the hand leading mine, astray or not. … shower clean, respectable, loveable, ignorant, even ‘undecided’ are all attributes of another which i have attached to the scent attached to them.  this may seem ridiculous, but i stick to it, because i see no reason why not.  


sight on the other spectrum has never been a strength of mine.  I will easily forget what a face looks like, i will walk into walls, i will confuse pink with orange, and i know because i’ve worked in the media industry for so long (and because i use the power of thinking) that looks are deceiving, i know about the conspiracies of Mac and Revlon, and Photoshop and camera Filters.  how is it that my own face will be beautiful one day, and not for the looking the next.  I know that a couple who look in love and entangled in each other on the water side, may as well be nothing but strangers caught in the heat of a moment, and as the sun rises, so will the moment evaporate with the particles of coolness on their burning skin.  I do not trust my eyes, i never have.  


Touch has always urged for my curiousity.  sometimes when i’m in heat of a discussion with someone, even happens with a stranger, and i feel moved by their words their ideas, i find myself restraining from touching them.  touching their expression, pinching their lips for I might get a dose of their passion which seems to be escaping and enwrapped in their words all at once.  i hold myself back, because this is obviously misread, and i will confuse the person to my intention, more than anything. (not everyone sees with their hands as i do).  i feel like i can see someone only if a part of me, being arm or leg, whatever, is touching a part of them. not for sexual desire, but for…… humanly desire. does that make sense? i’m the same with a book, any piece of art (even if know its a print out), i urge to feel my fingers on its surface…..   my skin is very often, for me, confused with my soul…. so equally as i urge to touch, i fear and crave to-be-touched all at once. but this is another point altogether, and i’m not ready to divulge. 


as to music and food, they go together my friend.  (you would think the scent goes with the taste, right?) nope! haha.  well i understand where they do, and must do…. but sound and taste are jumbled together for me, for when i let something as simple as melted cheese make its way onto my tongue, i swear i hear jazz, and i would start to wiggle de-rhythmically immediately.  i have heard symphonies as my mouth is in devour of juicy sweet tender meats, and song has made me feel satisfied in my core, the centre of me in hearty delight like a breakfast for kings.  do we not love lies like chocolate? devouring the joy they bring, in momentary denial for the inevitable repercussions – like truth and i don’t know.. cellulite? hahaha. ok ok bad analogy. but i think point is still made… 

so yeah… for now these are my basics. this is what i know just for today… maybe even by tomorrow i will forget it. some of it i hope. 

here is a piece i wrote long back, it was the first realisation for me on my relationship with my senses, and how enraptured i am, how they are the windows to my soul, looking both in and out… 



About fatimasque

living for artimaginationcuriousity
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