writing from a hotel room in Normandie. the weather is gentle and friendly, and the night young and ending in its prime, is bringing to me a space i can exist in, with no pretence. the music is familiar begging at the soul, and in my pi’s i wonder what it means that all the moments came together to arrive at the now. here i am in place where i’m a stranger, the sheer bliss of being no one, and for that i feel like i’m home. Le Havre (the harbour) has the second largest port in France, and like all peoples inhabiting a place much used to the coming in and going of sailors, adventurers, and merchants from all tiers of life, they live rather nonchalantly and in a mode much like the waves, coming and going with both purpose and leisure all at once.
i spent most of the day in silence ascending. slowly i shed the days back home off, the thoughts the people the reasons, pride and assumptions one by one put away, until i reached evening and by then, there was nothing left to keep carrying. went for a walk in the morning, then indulged back at the hotel with a massage and a sit in the spa. went back out and discovered more of the city, before i came back again for a nap. 40 minutes exactly, and then it was social social social all through to 2 am. (basically now). yes Fats was giddy and loud, and wonderful, and every bit herself. as my friend said “Tickets to France = XX euros, hotel = YY Euros, Fati in France= priceless”. it was indeed a good laugh.
and then there was the food. my palette alive, my senses engaged. the thing with fish and shellfish, if you want the best part then you have to go in all the way, your hands get messy, your scarf is caught up trying to stay out of the way, you inhale, the scent, the taste, the reds and whites on your platter, the mount of shell on the plate, the garlic butter, the waiter even who won’t smile until finally at the end of the night after much smiling and coaxing. and the foie gras, of my God kill me!! no really, kill me! KILL-ME-!
yes it is a blessing to gift my senses the new. in my experience of silence today, to be on hold now for 4 days, i realize more and more just how much i need it. i mean, it comes as a returning theme in my writing, but to take it in as a concept and truth in full. i have craved silence always, but never have i gone this far to get it. i’ll sit maybe in my room, i’ll avoid calls, pretend i’m asleep.. you know.. but to leave, to get up, get on a flight, and go because even the unsaid thoughts distract and agitate me. wow. and then to be able to afford doing that. wow wow. i am truly fortunate; and boy am i grateful. in the most humble sense i am grateful.
well that’s it for now.
Amore from Normandie