The most astounding conversation went on recently, between myself and the Universe.
It started with my realised intent to listen closer, to be more mindful of the signs, of the gestures of love, of how the universe extends itself to me in kindness and sweet consideration.
then there was a friday morning, where I woke with tears in my eyes, for loving for missing for wanting Pesus, (my darling) and for feeling so alone. So left behind, my broken being so unseen by others. “Fati is a strong one, she takes care of herself right?” (so she keeps trying to let go of)
I felt as though no matter my extended initiatives to people, that is the extent of our interaction. time, calls, words, were all given only ever in return– and not as an original source of the exchange. So I decided to have a social experiment. I would hold myself back. extend nothing. and see if someone, anyone, would try to find me.
my God, it didn’t take even 24 hours. People who I would rarely hear from, a friend who never ditches work, and decides we should have breakfast on a whim, a joke to break the silence of my 3 am insomnia. an apology, a letter, they all came rushing. the Universe it came rushing to me…
my darling you are never alone, I hold your hands with every step you take. I pave for you the road so that you would find your way, and I bring you roses every morning. my darling you are never alone, for all my designs are divine, even the direction where a broken leaf wanders to, I create its gentle rustle, all for you to smile. Cheer up little girl, smile my poet, trust without waiting my warrior. these roads for you, they are filled with promises.
I heard it all. clearly, loudly, gently, intensely. I knew that I should never doubt again.