I sit in an underlined, bolded, and italicised huge question mark right now. After a conversation with a friend, I am left wondering the contrasts of Black and White. Happiness and Sadness. His statements tell an absolute invalidation to the sad emotions. Emotions even in general really, but the negative ones more so in particular.
Now, at some point I may have agreed with him. Negative emotions like sadness and anger, despair, or even confusion are useless and stupid. Do not humour your sadness, everything in life is passing. so there is no need to be sad. yes sure. to dress everything in the logic was at some point, my forte even.
- the problem with ‘logic’ is that it leaves no space for the grey areas, and sometimes, no room for the white standing against the black (or vice versa).
But since, i’ve had my experiences and my reshaping of even logic itself, which have taught me that all ranges of emotions belong to us humans. to all living creatures even. to feel sadness is to process a context, what it means to us, and surely there is something we learn from it. otherwise it wouldn’t be within our capacity to feel it, right?
and then there is the common concept, “the things that make us happy can also make us sad”. my loved one returning my love, will make me happy. if he refuses or denies it, this will make me sad. Now, my question is, how can we break those two apart? How can I, in this very context, adopt my happiness only, and disconnect from sadness? and is this, correct? is it valid? is this logic in fact sense full?
For a victim of a violation of any kind, can we truly, really turn around and say- “hey, by being hurt about this, you are just hurting yourself more. get over it, and move on. now don’t dwell, that’s stupid“. is that right? for the victims of natural and human disasters, those who have lost their whole family and life in a blink of an eye, should we condemn them for shedding a tear, because it is a useless emotion?
This seemed indeed to be his standpoint. and I don’t know if it left me doubting my own thoughts, or perhaps a little sorry that he has deprived himself so dryly of tears?
As i said, huge eff-ing question mark.