Tag Archives: depression

Quitting the Race

ok i started to write, and then a good 500 words in, i deleted it all. i have a propensity towards beating around the bush, and jumping into the inessential, which is simply on the sideline of my problems, instead … Continue reading

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Seeds in hand

the blankness of my mind is hardly complementary to the swirl of emotions that is the rest of my body.  not only do i feel the coldness within tightening my muscles, but there is this acidic like burning that’s drenched my … Continue reading

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For the Love of Pain

my mind is blank this morning. maybe because i’ve slept a bare 4 hours, or maybe because the night before was such a storm.  either way, i’m finding it hard to figure out what it is I wish to articulate, … Continue reading

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some type of facts.

hi. so, the last two days have definitely seen an improvement, and i’m proud of my capacity to find the light. for even when I am blind, I know that the rest of my senses are at least, smarter than … Continue reading

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talking my way to happiness

For the love me, I am every oscillating between emotions high and low, and cannot find that specific release. But it is not the emotions that are the problem, so much as my incapacity to shake them off and let myself … Continue reading

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my own kind of therapy

Heading back to see my therapist this morning. I look forward to such visits. While conversation with dear and loving friends always (well mostly) has its own magic on the psyche, it must be said that a professional and what … Continue reading

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Insomnia, Depression, Raging Hormones, and all the fun stuff…

It seems that my 6 month period of illness, and all the drugs ingested into body, mind, and soul (chemical, natural, and hormone- some still clashing in my system btw) has created a little monster in me… it seems that all the … Continue reading

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about the EGO (in particular Fati’s ego)

I hope you believe me when I say my Ego is cunning, wily, and an ever calculating fox.  Here are some adjectives I would give it, with corresponding explanations of when… 1- Manipulative (by default). Even as a teen, I was … Continue reading

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on Rebirth: Day 9

The kick boxing trainer said something that intrigued me this morning. along the lines of “Technique is more important than Power”.  This he meant naturally for my moves, stance, etc. But i wondered, if we can apply this motto across … Continue reading

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on Rebirth: Day 5 (the basics: physical movement)

This is a fairly new setting.  i’m in Saudi, relaxing in my friend’s apartment, the tv is on (tv as background is an attack on my senses, but i’m trying – no i turned it off).  Tomorrow is my first … Continue reading

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