Tag Archives: dreams

All of a sudden, i’m in France

so all of a sudden, i am in France, and all of a sudden, i’m on holiday, and also all of a sudden, i am at peace; i am in an odd way home, i am, released from all which holds me … Continue reading

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the math of being loved

it’s a funny thing, the math assumed by people for the combination of their emotions, time, and attention. a many people in their ‘giving’ of love, do so with some form of expectation for mutual reciprocity.  This is normal and … Continue reading

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Quitting the Race

ok i started to write, and then a good 500 words in, i deleted it all. i have a propensity towards beating around the bush, and jumping into the inessential, which is simply on the sideline of my problems, instead … Continue reading

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my own kind of therapy

Heading back to see my therapist this morning. I look forward to such visits. While conversation with dear and loving friends always (well mostly) has its own magic on the psyche, it must be said that a professional and what … Continue reading

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Insomnia, Depression, Raging Hormones, and all the fun stuff…

It seems that my 6 month period of illness, and all the drugs ingested into body, mind, and soul (chemical, natural, and hormone- some still clashing in my system btw) has created a little monster in me… it seems that all the … Continue reading

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about the EGO (in particular Fati’s ego)

I hope you believe me when I say my Ego is cunning, wily, and an ever calculating fox.  Here are some adjectives I would give it, with corresponding explanations of when… 1- Manipulative (by default). Even as a teen, I was … Continue reading

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coincidence by divine design- how my journey within starts

:So She puts on a little music. She looks out the window.  words, if only you found me whenever i came looking for you, this love affair could go by any name. Ah yes… The journey from ‘there’ to here.  While … Continue reading

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Throwback: I knew all along, but only metaphysically,

I will carry on here, as though it follows from the conversation in the prior post…. So after the diagnosis I had desperately desired to not undergo another operation. I was mortified, I cried nonstop. the only thought that enslaved … Continue reading

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on Rebirth: Day -7 (I fear)

I fear that the fear of failure, will hold me back from trying I fear that the absence of inspiration, will take away my voice I fear that the probabilities accounted, will blind me to the endlessness of possibilities  I fear … Continue reading

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on Depression- day 21 in peace with Defeat

wow. 3 weeks. feels like a lifetime.  today was bad, (look at me using ‘bad’, i’d kill my students for it). ok i’ll start from the beginning.  today looked like an emotional massacre. (that’s a bit better).  i couldn’t make … Continue reading

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