Tag Archives: fear

Quitting the Race

ok i started to write, and then a good 500 words in, i deleted it all. i have a propensity towards beating around the bush, and jumping into the inessential, which is simply on the sideline of my problems, instead … Continue reading

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Seeds in hand

the blankness of my mind is hardly complementary to the swirl of emotions that is the rest of my body.  not only do i feel the coldness within tightening my muscles, but there is this acidic like burning that’s drenched my … Continue reading

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Insomnia, Depression, Raging Hormones, and all the fun stuff…

It seems that my 6 month period of illness, and all the drugs ingested into body, mind, and soul (chemical, natural, and hormone- some still clashing in my system btw) has created a little monster in me… it seems that all the … Continue reading

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about the EGO (in particular Fati’s ego)

I hope you believe me when I say my Ego is cunning, wily, and an ever calculating fox.  Here are some adjectives I would give it, with corresponding explanations of when… 1- Manipulative (by default). Even as a teen, I was … Continue reading

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my ultimate insecurity

Yesterday I was at a meeting with a ‘media’ company. basically ones who do websites, brand, design, etc…  (ok, quick background on me so you know why and how I was there): I am a person of many ‘talents’, and … Continue reading

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on Rebirth: Day -1 (the Steppenwolf and I)

10 years ago (ish), I picked up the novel “the Steppenwolf” by Herman Hesse.  At that time, the book changed my life.  it annihilated and revived within me something of the common and then something of the artist(s) in me.  I … Continue reading

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on Rebirth: Day -5 (nothing to say)

I have nothing interesting to say right now.  i’m here because my mind is muffled, confused, and I am unable to focus at work. I had been determined even not to blog for today until later in the evening, as … Continue reading

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